Looking for dad jokes that’ll make you groan, grin, and giggle at the same time? Whether you’re a real-life dad, a future father figure, or just a pun-loving human, these jokes are clean, kid-friendly, and cheesy enough to melt your socks off. They’re simple enough for an 8-year-old to tell at the dinner table—and cringey enough to make them legendary.
1. Classic Dad Jokes
Best Pick: Why don’t skeletons fight each other? Because they don’t have the guts!
- What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese!
- I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.
- I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
- What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta!
- Why don’t eggs tell each other jokes? They might crack up!
- Want to hear a construction joke? Oh… I’m still working on it!
- Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long? Because then it’d be a foot!
- What does a lemon say when it answers the phone? Yellow!
- What kind of shoes does a lazy person wear? Loafers!
2. Food Dad Jokes
Best Pick: I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I’ll let you know which comes first.
- Did you hear the joke about the peanut butter? I’m not telling you—it might spread!
- What did the sushi say to the bee? Wasa-bi!
- I don’t trust tacos. They tend to spill the beans!
- How does a hamburger introduce his girlfriend? Meet Patty!
- What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!
- I used to hate facial hair… but then it grew on me.
- Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling well!
- What’s a cookie’s favorite sport? Crunch-time football!
- Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
3. Animal Dad Jokes
Best Pick: What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!
- What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!
- Why don’t crabs give to charity? Because they’re shellfish!
- Why did the duck get arrested? He was caught selling quack!
- What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
- How do cows stay up to date? They read the moos-paper!
- Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels!
- What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato!
- Why are cats bad at making decisions? They’re too purr-suasive!
- What do you call a cold dog? A chili dog!
4. Dad Jokes About Work
Best Pick: My boss told me to have a good day… so I went home!
- I applied for a job as a professional mirror cleaner. It’s something I can really see myself doing!
- I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
- Why did the scarecrow get promoted? He was outstanding in his field!
- I used to work for a blanket factory… but it folded.
- Why did the calendar worker get fired? He took too many days off!
- I wanted a job cleaning mirrors… but it was just something I couldn’t reflect on.
- I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it!
- I once made a pencil with two erasers. It was pointless!
- I invented a new word today… Plagiarism!
5. Dad Jokes About Family
Best Pick: You think your dad jokes are bad? Mine are pun-ishing!
- Dad, I’m hungry. Hi hungry, I’m dad!
- Mom: “Clean your room!” Dad: “Don’t worry, I’m dust-in time!”
- Why did Dad bring a ladder to the bar? He heard the drinks were on the house!
- My son asked me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down!
- Dads don’t sleep. They just rest their eyes!
- What’s Dad’s favorite instrument? The dinner bell!
- If your father tells a joke in the forest and no one hears it… it’s still hilarious!
- I asked Dad if he was okay. He said, “No, I’m half-kay.”
- Don’t trust stairs. They’re always up to something!
6. Seasonal Dad Jokes
Best Pick: What do you get when you cross a snowman and a dog? Frostbite!
- Spring is here! I got so excited I wet my plants!
- What did the turkey say to the computer? Google, Google, Google!
- I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes… she gave me a hug!
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field!
- What do you call a ghost in the winter? Casper the Snowman!
- What’s a snowman’s favorite snack? Ice Krispy Treats!
- Autumn leaves? Yes, they do!
- Santa’s favorite singer? Elf-is Presley!
- Summer’s great until your popsicle becomes soup!
7. Dad Jokes About Science
Best Pick: I would tell you a joke about chemistry… but I know I wouldn’t get a reaction!
- Why did the atom break up with the molecule? It needed space!
- I told a physics joke… but there was no reaction!
- What did one tectonic plate say to the other? “Sorry, my fault!”
- I’m reading a book on helium. I just can’t put it down!
- Why can’t you trust atoms? They make up everything!
- I asked the librarian if they had any books on paranoia. She whispered, “They’re right behind you.”
- Why are chemists so good at solving problems? They have all the solutions!
- Biology class is always a cell-ebration!
- The mitochondria is the pun-maker of the cell!
8. Travel & Vacation Dad Jokes
Best Pick: Why don’t mountains ever get tired? Because they peak early!
- I told my suitcase no more jokes. It was tired of being carried away!
- Why did the airplane break up with the helicopter? Too much turbulence!
- What’s a sea monster’s favorite place to go on vacation? The Brrr-hamas!
- Paris is always a good idea… especially when Eiffel for it!
- I tried to catch some fog… I mist!
- Why don’t trees travel? They’re always rooted!
- That camping trip was in-tents!
- We’re going to Hawaii? Aloha my money!
- Cruise ship joke coming soon… It’s on board!
9. Wordplay & Pun Dad Jokes
Best Pick: I only know one joke about paper… but it’s tearable!
- I used to hate puns… but now I pun-derstand!
- I once fell into an upholstery machine… now I’m fully recovered!
- I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised!
- I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went… then it dawned on me!
- Don’t spell part backwards… it’s a trap!
- Velcro? What a rip-off!
- I used to be a baker… but I couldn’t make enough dough!
- I was going to tell a time-travel joke… but you didn’t like it.
- I lost my mood ring… and I don’t know how I feel about it!
10. Groan-Worthy Dad Jokes
Best Pick: Want to hear a joke about a roof? Never mind—it’s over your head!
- What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? “Supplies!”
- I told a joke about pizza… but it was a little cheesy!
- Wanna hear something hilarious? Look in the mirror!
- I was going to tell a joke about time travel… but you’ve already heard it!
- Don’t trust atoms… they make up everything!
- I just finished a puzzle in 6 months… the box said 2–4 years!
- What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator!
- I used to be addicted to soap… but I’m clean now!
- I don’t trust stairs… they’re always up to something!
Conclusion
These 100+ dad jokes are the perfect mix of punny, goofy, and groan-worthy. Whether you’re cracking up the kids, embarrassing your teens, or just need a quick laugh yourself, these punchlines are always Dad-approved. The best part? They’re clean, silly, and guaranteed to make someone say, “Seriously, Dad?”