Looking for the funniest heart jokes and puns? Whether you’re writing a valentine, sharing some love, or just want a hearty laugh, your search ends here! This article is packed with clean, funny, and kid-friendly heart humor that’s easy to understand and perfect for any age. From biology giggles to romantic wordplay, these jokes will totally steal your heart—and never give it back!
1. Funny Jokes About the Heart
Best Pick: Why did the heart go to school? To learn how to beat!
- What did one heart say to the other? You’re my better half!
- My heart’s not just full—it’s bursting with puns!
- I told my heart a joke… it skipped a beat!
- Why did the heart break up with the brain? Too much thinking, not enough feeling!
- My heart called in sick—it was feeling faint!
- I dropped my stethoscope… my heart felt ignored!
- Hearts love hugs—they’re built for it!
- The heart threw a party—it was pumping!
- Don’t tick off your heart—it takes things personally!
2. Romantic Heart Puns
Best Pick: You aorta be my Valentine!
- I love you with all my ventricles!
- You’ve got my pulse racing!
- I’m totally artery in love with you!
- You’re the beat to my heart!
- I can’t function without your love flow!
- We circulate well together!
- You’ve got a cardiac connection!
- My heart’s hooked on you!
- You make my blood pressure rise—in a good way!
- Let’s never skip a beat together!
3. Heart Puns for Valentine’s Day
Best Pick: I gave you my heart… please don’t drop it like my phone!
- You stole my heart—do you accept returns?
- I’m head over ventricles for you!
- You’re my cardiac crush!
- Valentine, you make my heart do cheer stunts!
- You beat all the rest!
- I valve you more than chocolate!
- Let’s skip school and hearts together!
- You’re the reason I blush in red!
- You hold the key to my heart emoji!
- I love you to the left atrium and back!
4. Silly Anatomy & Biology Jokes
Best Pick: The heart isn’t just smart—it’s organ-ized!
- My heart works hard—it never takes a break!
- What’s a heart’s favorite subject? Art-ery!
- I failed biology… but my heart was in the right place!
- Did you hear about the broken heart? It was ventricle damage!
- Why did the heart get promoted? It had great circulation!
- I’m a heartthrob… according to my ECG!
- Why did the heart talk to the lungs? To catch its breath!
- This heart’s got beat-itude!
- The left side of my heart is empty… you moved in!
- My heart’s a muscle—but it’s also a softie!
5. Heart Jokes for Kids
Best Pick: Why did the heart wear glasses? To see love clearly!
- My heart is so full, it needs a nap!
- I told my heart to be quiet—it just kept thumping!
- I drew a heart… and it winked at me!
- The heart didn’t want veggies—it wanted sweet tarts!
- What’s a heart’s favorite snack? Beet chips!
- The heart took dance class—now it grooves all day!
- My heart sings every time I see my dog!
- I said “I love you” and my heart did a backflip!
- Hearts are like balloons—filled with happy!
- My heart’s favorite day? Hug day!
6. Broken Heart Puns
Best Pick: I got dumped—but at least my heart still beats to its own joke!
- I dropped my heart… now it’s in pieces!
- I asked my heart how it feels—it said, “ouch.”
- My playlist is just sad beats and heart puns!
- My heart’s been ghosted—but it’s still texting!
- I’m not heartless—I’m just heartbroken creatively!
- I loved, I lost, I… made memes about it!
- Cupid missed… again!
- I’m fine—just some emotional CPR needed!
- This heart’s under renovation!
- I built a wall… then cried behind it!
7. Jokes About Heartbeats
Best Pick: My heart beats louder when I see pizza… or you!
- My heart’s got rhythm—it’s a beatbox champ!
- Every beat is a love letter in drum language!
- I skipped a beat… then asked it politely to come back!
- If my heart had a theme song, it’d be thump-thump-hooray!
- Got a crush? My heartbeat turned into a rap battle!
- When I run, my heart claps back!
- I counted my heartbeats… and got dizzy with love!
- My heart’s got better rhythm than my dance moves!
- My smartwatch said my heart rate is “in love.”
- My heartbeat said, “Let’s do this!”
8. Cute Love & Heart Puns
Best Pick: You complete my cardiac circuit!
- I’m pumping with happiness around you!
- Love is in the air… and arteries!
- You’re my soulmate and heart-rate buddy!
- I’d follow you to the ends of the aorta!
- Your love is my favorite daily cardio!
- You’re the spark in my pacemaker!
- My love for you is ventricle-deep!
- You’re the oxygen to my blood!
- Together we’re beating the odds!
- I fell for you—and my heart had no choice!
9. Silly Cardiology Jokes
Best Pick: I told the cardiologist a joke… and she said, “Now that’s a healthy laugh!”
- Cardiologists have a lot of heart!
- What’s a heart’s favorite dance? The cardiac cha-cha!
- I failed my ECG test—I couldn’t stay still!
- I tried reading my own heartbeat… but it skipped chapters!
- I want to be a cardiologist—so I can listen to people’s hearts!
- The heart clinic gave me a good vibe!
- I went in for a checkup—they said I had too much love!
- Cardiology is a pulse-pounding career!
- I told a heart pun during surgery—they said I was aorta be quiet!
- The heart monitor said “LOL”!
10. Heart Emoji & Social Media Jokes
Best Pick: My texts are 50% words, 50% ❤️ emojis!
- I send heart emojis like I grow them at home!
- My heart reacts to everything… even cat memes!
- Instagram post: cute pic + red heart = Internet magic!
- I sent 3 hearts—that means serious love!
- I don’t double-tap—I quadruple-heart!
- Every text needs a heart or it’s emotionless!
- I put hearts on everything—even homework!
- When in doubt, send a heart!
- My keyboard has a heart button—on repeat!
- Text me once, love me forever… emoji style!
Conclusion
Whether you’re sending love, cracking jokes in science class, or just giggling with your friends, these heart jokes and puns are full of joy, energy, and beat-worthy humor! From romantic one-liners to silly anatomy quips, there’s something here for every heartbeat. ❤️ Keep smiling, keep laughing—and don’t forget to share the love!