Step into the medieval world of knights, castles, and dragons, where the only thing sharper than a sword is the wit! If you’ve ever wondered what medieval humor might sound like, you’re in for a treat. From jesters to lords, these medieval jokes and puns will make you laugh like a jester on a merry day. So, grab your sword and shield, and let’s embark on a humorous quest to medieval times!
Best Medieval Jokes & Puns
Best Pick: Why did the knight bring a pencil to the castle? Because he wanted to “draw” his sword!
- What do you call a knight who’s afraid to fight? A “Sir”ious coward!
- Why was the knight always calm? Because he knew how to “knight” down his emotions!
- How did the dragon feel after the knight defeated him? “Exhausted,” he said.
- Why did the medieval knight refuse to eat at the feast? Because he didn’t want to “sword” his appetite!
- What did the king say to the knight who kept slacking off? “You’re not ‘royally’ doing your job!”
- Why did the medieval knight love playing cards? Because he was always “dealing” with fate!
- What did the jester do when he had an idea? He “clowned” around with it!
- Why do knights always tell the truth? Because they’re “honor”-able men!
- What did the medieval knight wear when it rained? A “chain”mail coat!
Funny Medieval Puns for Feasts
Best Pick: Why did the knight bring a fork to the banquet? Because he wanted to “sword” his food!
- Why did the medieval knights bring bread to the feast? They wanted to “knead” it together!
- How did the knight eat his pie? With a “cutting” edge!
- Why did the jester serve bad food? Because he was a “merry” cook!
- What do you call a medieval meal made of vegetables? “Lancelot’s” soup!
- Why did the medieval knight sit at the head of the table? Because he was “knight”-ly!
- What’s a knight’s favorite type of dessert? “Knight”cake!
- Why do knights love their dinners so much? Because they’re always “full of valor”!
- What did the king say when the soup was too salty? “This dish has been ‘seasoned’ with a lot of trouble!”
- What did the knight order at the tavern? A “tankard” of ale and some roasted “lance”!
Medieval Jokes for Knights and Swordsmen
Best Pick: Why did the knight always carry a sword? Because it was his “point” of pride!
- Why did the knight sharpen his sword every day? He wanted to stay “edge”-ucated!
- What did the knight say before battle? “I’m ready to ‘sword’ out some justice!”
- Why did the knight get a promotion? Because he was “cut” out for the job!
- How do knights keep their swords sharp? By using a “knight”ly whetstone!
- What do you call a sword fight between two knights? A “duel”-icious battle!
- Why did the knight take his sword to the dance? Because he wanted to “cut a rug”!
- What did the knight say to the dragon? “You’ll regret messing with my ‘cutting’ edge!”
- Why did the knight wear armor to the dinner? To protect himself from the “sharp” humor!
- What do you call a knight who can’t fight? A “swordless” warrior!
Jester Jokes & Puns
Best Pick: Why did the jester bring a broom to the court? Because he wanted to “sweep” everyone off their feet with laughter!
- Why did the jester keep telling jokes at the king’s court? Because he was the “king” of humor!
- What did the jester say when the king got mad? “I was just trying to “play” around!”
- Why did the jester take up juggling? Because he wanted to “keep his act together”!
- How did the jester get a laugh from the knights? By “throwing” some puns their way!
- What did the jester wear to impress the ladies? A “joke” of a hat!
- Why did the jester act like a fool? Because he wanted to “court” the king’s favor!
- What do you call a jester who can juggle? A “knight” of entertainment!
- Why was the jester always so cheerful? Because he was “jolly” good at it!
- What did the jester say to make the knights laugh? “Stop being so ‘stiff’ – let’s get ‘jester’-ous!”
Medieval Jokes for Kings and Queens
Best Pick: Why did the king always sit on the throne? Because he was “royally” comfortable!
- Why did the queen hire a knight to clean her castle? Because she needed a “clean” sweep!
- What did the king say to the knight who was too serious? “Lighten up, it’s just a ‘crown’ of laughter!”
- Why did the queen love wearing crowns? Because they were “crown” jewels of fashion!
- How did the king celebrate his birthday? With a “crowned” party!
- What do you call a royal knight in shining armor? A “gallant” man!
- Why was the queen so good at keeping secrets? Because she was a “royal” keeper of information!
- What did the king say to his royal subjects at the feast? “Let’s raise our ‘cups’ to the crown!”
- How did the queen deal with the dragon? By giving him the “royal” treatment!
- Why was the queen always calm? Because she knew how to “rule” her emotions!
Medieval Jokes for Dragons
Best Pick: Why did the dragon bring a book to the castle? Because he wanted to “read” between the flames!
- Why don’t dragons tell secrets? Because they always “spill the fire”!
- What do you call a dragon who loves jokes? A “fire-breathing” comedian!
- Why was the dragon always invited to the knight’s dinner? Because he knew how to “spice” things up!
- What did the dragon say when he met the knight? “I’ll be the one ‘burning’ the competition!”
- Why did the dragon go to therapy? To talk about his “flaming” issues!
- How does a dragon greet a knight? “Prepare to meet my ‘fiery’ gaze!”
- What did the dragon say after a battle? “I’m feeling a little ‘fried’!”
- Why did the knight struggle to fight the dragon? Because he was “flamed” out of energy!
- What do you call a dragon who loves puns? A “pun-derful” creature!
Medieval Dad Jokes
Best Pick: Why did the knight refuse to tell jokes? Because he wasn’t good at “knight”ing!
- Why do medieval knights make bad comedians? Because their humor is too “knightly”!
- Why did the castle fall down? Because the walls didn’t have enough “support”!
- Why did the knight carry an umbrella? To “shield” himself from the rain!
- How did the knight get his exercise? He went for a “sword” workout!
- Why did the jester take a nap? Because he needed a “joke” of rest!
- What did the knight do after the battle? He went to get a “knightcap”!
- Why did the king go to school? To become a “ruler” in education!
- What did the knight say to his horse? “Let’s ride, we’ve got a ‘stable’ relationship!”
- How did the knight make a decision? He always “cut” through the confusion!
Conclusion
Medieval times may have been a place of knights and dragons, but they were also filled with plenty of humor! Whether you’re a jester telling jokes or a knight wielding a pun, the medieval world had a way of combining bravery with a bit of comedy. So next time you need a laugh, just take a step back in time and enjoy these hilarious medieval jokes and puns!