Searching for the best nurse jokes to lighten the shift, break the ice, or just get a healthy dose of laughter? Whether you’re a nurse, know a nurse, or just love hospital humor, this article will cure your bad mood — stat! As soon as you opened this page, the laughter prescription was filled.
1. Funny Nurse Jokes
Best Pick: Why did the nurse carry a red pen? In case she needed to draw blood!
- What do you call a nurse who can sing? A registered harmonizer
- Why did the nurse always carry a needle? Just in case she needed to sew someone up
- Nurses have the best sense of humor — it’s part of their patient care
- Why don’t nurses play hide and seek? Because good luck hiding when your shoes squeak
- How do nurses stay calm? They take deep breaths… and coffee
- I asked the nurse how she stays strong — she said “I lift spirits and IVs
- Why was the nurse so good at math? She knew how to count on her patients
- What’s a nurse’s favorite type of music? Hip-hop-ital
- Nurses: the real injection of humor in the hospital
2. Nurse Puns
Best Pick: I told a joke in the ER, and everyone coded — with laughter!
- I’m a nurse — I give shots and punchlines
- It’s a hard shift, but I IV with it
- I’m here to inject a little humor
- Nurses always take things to heart — literally
- Feeling unwell? Let me pun-scribe you a laugh
- My mood? On call for comedy
- I like my coffee like I like my scrubs — strong and clean
- Bedpans and banter — that’s nurse life
- I don’t run on caffeine, I run on vital signs and sarcasm
- I’m stitchin’ up smiles today!
3. Nurse Knock Knock Jokes
Best Pick: Knock knock. Who’s there? Nurse. Nurse who? Nurse you glad I’m here to help?
- Knock knock
Who’s there?
IV
IV who?
IV got your back! - Knock knock
Who’s there?
Chart
Chart who?
Chart your course to health! - Knock knock
Who’s there?
Pulse
Pulse who?
Pulse it together and you’ll be just fine - Knock knock
Who’s there?
Bandage
Bandage who?
Bandage up, you’re getting better! - Knock knock
Who’s there?
Med
Med who?
Med you feel better soon! - Knock knock
Who’s there?
Code
Code who?
Code blue! Just kidding, it’s a joke - Knock knock
Who’s there?
Scrub
Scrub who?
Scrub in, we’ve got laughs to deliver - Knock knock
Who’s there?
Call
Call who?
Call light’s on… ready for jokes? - Knock knock
Who’s there?
Patient
Patient who?
Patiently waiting to laugh!
4. ICU Nurse Jokes
Best Pick: Why don’t ICU nurses tell secrets? Because they know everything gets monitored!
- ICU nurses have nerves of steel and hearts of gold
- What’s an ICU nurse’s favorite band? Panic! At the Monitors
- Don’t mess with ICU nurses — they know your numbers
- When ICU nurses tell jokes, hearts skip a beat
- What did the ICU nurse say to the sleepy patient? Don’t code on me now
- ICU = I Care Unconditionally
- ICU nurses don’t get tired, they get charged
- Why did the ICU nurse bring a flashlight? To check your pupils and your sense of humor
- ICU nurses are pros at multitasking — and multigiggling
5. Nurse School Jokes
Best Pick: What do you call a student nurse who loves jokes? A pun-ctual learner!
- Nurse school teaches how to give shots — and deliver punchlines
- What’s the hardest class in nursing school? Bedpan 101
- Student nurses always carry pens… and stress
- Why did the nursing student take comedy class? For comic relief
- “Code brown” isn’t just a test question — it’s a punchline
- Nurse exams: where multiple choice meets mild panic
- Anatomy is serious business… until you learn about the funny bone
- What do nursing students and stand-up comics have in common? Timing!
- Nursing school: where caffeine is part of the curriculum
- Why was the nursing student always laughing? It was part of her care plan
6. Jokes About Nurses and Doctors
Best Pick: Why don’t nurses argue with doctors? Because they know where the real chart power is!
- The doctor says jump — the nurse checks the vitals first
- Nurses do all the work, doctors take all the jokes
- What’s a nurse’s favorite phrase? “Page the doctor”
- Nurses listen to the heart — doctors just talk over it
- Doctors diagnose, nurses deliver the comedy
- Nurses walk miles daily — to clean up after doctors
- The nurse said “I need a break,” and the doctor said “Stat!”
- Doctors make rounds, nurses make miracles
- What’s a nurse’s favorite comeback? “Ask the doctor… if you can find one”
- Nurses and doctors: the comedy duo with charts
7. Night Shift Nurse Jokes
Best Pick: You know you’re a night shift nurse when your coffee has a pulse!
- What’s scary at 2am? A full call light board
- Night shift nurses don’t sleep — they recharge
- You can spot a night nurse by the IV lines and the snack stash
- Why was the night nurse a zombie? Because she hadn’t seen sunlight in days
- Midnight meds and moonlight laughs
- Who needs sleep when there are vital signs to monitor?
- Night shift nurses have nocturnal humor
- If it’s glowing, beeping, or blinking — it’s a night nurse’s life
- “Quiet night” is forbidden speech after 11pm
- Night nurses: saving lives while the world snoozes
8. Nurse Life Jokes
Best Pick: Nurse life: where every shift is a marathon with a side of comedy!
- You know you’re a nurse when coffee is your hero
- Nurse brain: full of meds, jokes, and memories of 14-hour shifts
- Life as a nurse: messy bun, quick fun
- Nurse shoes: built for laughter and long hauls
- Nurses don’t cry — they chart about it
- Nothing is truly lost until the nurse can’t find it
- “On my way” in nurse-speak means “still finishing charting”
- Bed alarms are just musical background
- Nurse life = eat, chart, laugh, repeat
- Laughter is the best PPE
9. Pediatric Nurse Jokes
Best Pick: Why did the pediatric nurse carry stickers? For laughs and bribes!
- Pediatric nurses are powered by giggles and teddy bears
- What’s a pediatric nurse’s favorite word? “Bandaid!”
- Kid patients give the best compliments — and silliest answers
- A pediatric nurse’s best tool? A funny face
- When kids laugh, it’s instant healing
- Pediatric nurses: one hand on meds, one hand on a toy
- A child’s laugh is the best chart note
- Baby giggles make the best white noise
- Pediatric nurses know every cartoon character by name
- What’s a pediatric nurse’s motto? Treat, tickle, repeat
10. Clean Nurse One-Liners
Best Pick: Being a nurse is a work of heart — with a whole lot of charting
- I’m a nurse — humor is part of my care plan
- My stethoscope hears everything — especially jokes
- Scrubs, gloves, jokes, repeat
- Nurses make the world better — one giggle at a time
- I like big charts and I cannot lie
- Coffee first, vitals second
- Laughter is the best discharge plan
- Nurses deliver smiles — stat!
- I’m not bossy, I’m just nursing
- Call me when you need meds or memes
Conclusion
And there you have it — over 100 clean and funny nurse jokes to keep the spirits high, the shifts lighter, and the healing full of humor. Whether you’re on the floor, in class, or just need a smile after a long shift, these jokes are just what the nurse ordered.