Looking for the funniest Shrek jokes that even Donkey would approve of? Whether you’re a fan of onions, fairy tales with a twist, or just love the green guy himself, this article will solve your problem faster than you can say “SomeBODY once told me…” Get ready for Shrek-themed jokes that are clean, clever, and perfect for fans of all ages.
1. Funny Shrek Jokes for Kids
Best Pick: Why did Shrek go to school? Because he wanted to be a little ogre-achiever!
- What’s Shrek’s favorite subject in school? Swamp Science!
- Why did Shrek bring a ladder to the party? To get to the next layer!
- What’s green, grumpy, and loves waffles? Shrek on a Monday!
- Why don’t ogres get lost? Because they always follow their swamp sense!
- What did Shrek say to the mosquito? Buzz off, I’m on a date!
- Why did Shrek blush? Because Fiona gave him a toad-ally sweet kiss!
- What do you get when Shrek sings karaoke? A swamp-stopping performance!
- What’s Shrek’s favorite drink? Muddy-licious milkshakes!
- Why did Shrek cross the road? To rescue the princess on the other side!
2. Shrek & Donkey Friendship Jokes
Best Pick: Why does Shrek keep Donkey around? Because every ogre needs a sidekick who never stops yapping!
- Shrek: big, green, quiet. Donkey: small, loud, and deliciously annoying.
- Donkey told Shrek he was his best friend. Shrek said, “I need new friends.”
- Why don’t Shrek and Donkey play hide and seek? Because Donkey can’t shut up!
- Donkey once tried to sing a lullaby—Shrek moved to another swamp.
- When Shrek says “Let’s go,” Donkey hears, “Let’s talk for an hour!”
- Donkey is like glitter—you never get rid of him.
- Shrek once said, “It’s quiet.” Donkey ruined it.
- Donkey’s love language is nonstop talking.
- Donkey wanted to be a knight. Shrek said, “Try being quiet first.”
3. Fiona & Romance Jokes
Best Pick: Why did Fiona love Shrek? Because he was ogre-whelmingly sweet.
- Fiona kissed a frog and got… even greener love!
- What’s Fiona’s favorite flower? Swamp lilies with a side of sass!
- Fiona’s idea of a date night? Waffles and mud baths!
- Shrek bought Fiona a gift—she said, “Aww, another onion!”
- Why did Fiona dump her ex-prince? Too much mirror time.
- Fiona told Shrek he smells… like a strong, committed ogre!
- Their wedding cake was made of… swamp moss and marshmallows!
- Shrek said, “You complete me.” Fiona replied, “Let’s wrestle!”
- Their love story? Beauty and the Beast—but better!
4. Donkey Jokes That Won’t Quit
Best Pick: Why don’t you play poker with Donkey? Because he’ll talk through your entire hand!
- Donkey once entered a singing contest… they changed it to a talking contest.
- He dreams of waffles and talks about them too.
- Donkey says he wants to be taken seriously… then wears sunglasses at night.
- Donkey’s motto: Why be quiet when you can talk to EVERYONE?
- Donkey met a dragon and said, “You complete me.”
- If Donkey had a podcast, it’d be 24 hours long with no breaks.
- Donkey doesn’t nap. He power talks.
- Donkey says, “I’m not annoying, I’m enthusiastic!” …Shrek disagrees.
- Donkey is proof you can talk your way into AND out of danger.
5. Swamp Life Jokes
Best Pick: Why did Shrek love the swamp? Because it was muddy perfect!
- Swamp sweet swamp.
- Shrek’s favorite perfume? Eau de bog.
- Swamps are quiet… until Donkey visits.
- Home is where the muck is.
- Shrek’s decorating style? Swamp chic.
- Every swamp day is a mud spa day!
- Shrek’s idea of cleaning? Kicking the bugs off the log.
- Shrek: “This swamp ain’t big enough for two loudmouths.”
- Fiona said the swamp needed work. Shrek said, “Exactly!”
- Donkey calls it gross. Shrek calls it home.
6. Shrek Movie Puns
Best Pick: That movie wasn’t just good—it was ogre-the-top!
- Shrek 1: The classic swamp love story.
- Shrek 2: The sequel that made onions cry.
- Shrek 3: Prince Charming, more like Prince Whining.
- Shrek Forever After: Midlife swamp crisis!
- Every Shrek movie: A fairytale with flatulence!
- If you don’t love Shrek, you must be a Farquaad fan.
- Puss in Boots stole the show—and everyone’s hearts.
- Lord Farquaad’s name says it all.
- Shrek’s version of a plot twist? Burp, then hug!
- Watching Shrek is like peeling an onion: layers of laughter.
7. Onion Jokes Galore
Best Pick: Why are ogres like onions? Because both make you cry—from laughter!
- Shrek’s cologne: Essence of Onion.
- I asked Shrek for cologne… he handed me an onion.
- Why did the onion cry? Shrek told it a sad story!
- Layers: Not just for ogres, but for their wardrobes too!
- Shrek loves onions so much, he uses them as pillows.
- Donkey tried an onion smoothie once. Never again.
- Fiona’s wedding bouquet? A bundle of onions!
- When Shrek says “Let’s peel back the layers,” Donkey panics.
- Even Shrek’s jokes have layers—usually bad ones.
- Onion breath? Certified ogre-approved!
8. Shrek Quotes Turned Jokes
Best Pick: “This is the part where you run” — especially when Donkey’s karaoke starts!
- “Better out than in,” said Shrek at every meal.
- “I’m a real ogre!” Yeah, with a soft, gooey heart!
- “I like my privacy”—unless waffles are involved.
- “Layers!” Shrek’s therapy session in one word.
- “Not the gumdrop buttons!” The cookie had feelings!
- “That’ll do, Donkey.” The international sign for be quiet.
- “I’m not a puppet!” But Pinocchio sure lies like one.
- “This is my swamp!” Until Fiona moves in.
- “You’re going the right way for a smacked bottom!” Shrek’s parenting 101.
- “You dense, irritating miniature beast of burden.” Also known as… best friend.
9. Puss in Boots Humor
Best Pick: Why did Puss in Boots bring a sword? Because he came to slay—and look adorable doing it!
- His eyes could win a war.
- Tiny hat, BIG confidence.
- Donkey talks. Puss just poses dramatically.
- He fights with flair and flirts with finesse.
- If charm were a weapon, Puss would be undefeated.
- That accent? Un-fur-gettable!
- He could turn a dragon into a purring kitten.
- His fur never has a bad day.
- He brings claws to a magic fight—and wins.
- He may be tiny, but his ego? Gigantic!
10. Lord Farquaad & Villain Jokes
Best Pick: Lord Farquaad’s biggest fear? A step ladder!
- He’s not short—he’s vertically villainous!
- Farquaad wanted to be king… but couldn’t reach the throne.
- His chin is stronger than his leadership.
- Farquaad’s ego? Towering. His height? Not so much.
- He wanted to ban ogres. Shrek banned him from the swamp!
- Mirror Mirror on the wall, who’s the pettiest of them all?
- Even Donkey was taller than Farquaad’s attitude.
- If pettiness were royalty, Farquaad would rule forever.
- His legs were so short, his shadow quit.
- Shrek called him “Little Lord boring.”
Conclusion
Whether you’re a lifelong fan of the green guy or just love fairy tales with a sarcastic twist, these 100+ Shrek jokes deliver a swamp-load of laughter. From Donkey’s non-stop chatter to Fiona’s fierce love and Farquaad’s funny flaws, this article has jokes with layers, heart, and just the right amount of ogre charm.